Read the complete article published at OpenDemocracy right here.
I have tried to incorporate everyone's point of view in the article. However, I do stick to my earlier assertion that the people of Lalgarh are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They have lost faith in the government and political parties and know it is a huge safety and economic risk to fall back on the outlawed Maoists.
Showing posts with label South Asia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label South Asia. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Chilling documentary on Mumbai's 26/11 by Channel 4
Britain's Channel 4 produced a documentary on the 26/11 attacks in Mumbai last year. They have used CCTV footage from the Taj, the Oberoi and VT Station, interviews with civilians and police officers who witnessed the attacks, the initial police interrogation of the captured militant Ajmal Kasab and telephone conversations allegedly recorded between militants on the ground in Mumbai and their controllers in the terrorist outfit, the Lashkar-e-Toiba.
The video is a chilling reminder of the ease with which a handful of gunmen held one of the world's largest cities hostage for over 48 hours. A few interesting points to notice in the video are:
- The inability of policemen at VT Station to tackle two young, inexperienced gunmen due to a sheer lack of security organization at the railway hub and the malfunction of their own guns.
- The militants who are in charge of holding The Taj Mahal Hotel hostage are in complete awe of its interior grandeur. Their controller seems to have to constantly remind them of their mission and not be distracted by what they saw around them.
- The young gunmen seemed little informed about the course of action they were to undertake once at their various locations. One wonders how such a seemingly unsophisticated operation on the ground was so successful.
- The controllers of the LeT have absolutely no concern for their men on the ground - in this case young men who have been promised unending wealth for their families and heaven for themselves.
Channel 4 has unfortunately pulled down the video earlier available on YouTube. Wider reaction in the media regarding its absolute authenticity and the many questions regarding urban security, terrorist recruitment, etc. are still not available.
The video is a chilling reminder of the ease with which a handful of gunmen held one of the world's largest cities hostage for over 48 hours. A few interesting points to notice in the video are:
- The inability of policemen at VT Station to tackle two young, inexperienced gunmen due to a sheer lack of security organization at the railway hub and the malfunction of their own guns.
- The militants who are in charge of holding The Taj Mahal Hotel hostage are in complete awe of its interior grandeur. Their controller seems to have to constantly remind them of their mission and not be distracted by what they saw around them.
- The young gunmen seemed little informed about the course of action they were to undertake once at their various locations. One wonders how such a seemingly unsophisticated operation on the ground was so successful.
- The controllers of the LeT have absolutely no concern for their men on the ground - in this case young men who have been promised unending wealth for their families and heaven for themselves.
Channel 4 has unfortunately pulled down the video earlier available on YouTube. Wider reaction in the media regarding its absolute authenticity and the many questions regarding urban security, terrorist recruitment, etc. are still not available.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Fresh thinking: education and security reforms for India
I should have started doing this earlier. Anyhow, I have been writing for openDemocracy and from now on provide a link to the articles.
This was posted only today. It is a round-up of recommendations commentators in the Indian media have been giving the new government with regard to policies on education and national security.
This was posted only today. It is a round-up of recommendations commentators in the Indian media have been giving the new government with regard to policies on education and national security.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Lalgarh: Its citizens will suffer the most
Some initial thoughts on Maoist insurgents taking control of hamlets in West Bengal:
a) Discontent with local police and the high-handedness of CPI(M) cadres had been growing since last year in Lalgarh and the surrounding areas. Villagers have been gathering in large numbers to protest against atrocities committed by both sides. Yet, in the run up to last month's national elections, these developments were over shadowed and almost as if forgotten.
b) With the electoral losses of the CPI(M), people in these parts are emboldened to make their discontent known to all. They have been calling for better governance and gotten very little attention. Hence, their opposition to the police and political parties has allowed Naxals to come in and set up camp.
c) People in rural West Bengal have genuine grievances and no politician has sufficiently addressed them. The ruling party has used force to suppress them and opposition parties use them as fodder to advance their assaults on the current state administration. Now, that Maoists are gaining ground (and Maoists are considered a big threat to national security) all parties have backed out from coming out in support of the people's grievances.
d) The only way to bring back these territories under the rule of law is to send in police and paramilitary forces as no legitimate politician has any credibility in these districts to win the people's trust back. Such an assault will lead to the loss of innocent lives because it seems like the people are resilient. So, the Maoists will be able to continue their penetration of the area while politicians will have to use force as a means of last resort. Whoever orders security forces to enter Lalgarh now might have to give up his seat as there will be significant violence. No one has been able to come up with a practical alternative and till someone is ready to go in and take charge, we will have to sit and wait.
e) Poor governance and so many years of complacency has led to the current conflagration. The people who will suffer the most in whatever course of action is sought will be the people of Lalgarh in the West Midnapore district. They are stuck between ruling parties at the state and centre, between ruling and opposition parties in the state and between an insurgent movement and the security of the nation.
a) Discontent with local police and the high-handedness of CPI(M) cadres had been growing since last year in Lalgarh and the surrounding areas. Villagers have been gathering in large numbers to protest against atrocities committed by both sides. Yet, in the run up to last month's national elections, these developments were over shadowed and almost as if forgotten.
b) With the electoral losses of the CPI(M), people in these parts are emboldened to make their discontent known to all. They have been calling for better governance and gotten very little attention. Hence, their opposition to the police and political parties has allowed Naxals to come in and set up camp.
c) People in rural West Bengal have genuine grievances and no politician has sufficiently addressed them. The ruling party has used force to suppress them and opposition parties use them as fodder to advance their assaults on the current state administration. Now, that Maoists are gaining ground (and Maoists are considered a big threat to national security) all parties have backed out from coming out in support of the people's grievances.
d) The only way to bring back these territories under the rule of law is to send in police and paramilitary forces as no legitimate politician has any credibility in these districts to win the people's trust back. Such an assault will lead to the loss of innocent lives because it seems like the people are resilient. So, the Maoists will be able to continue their penetration of the area while politicians will have to use force as a means of last resort. Whoever orders security forces to enter Lalgarh now might have to give up his seat as there will be significant violence. No one has been able to come up with a practical alternative and till someone is ready to go in and take charge, we will have to sit and wait.
e) Poor governance and so many years of complacency has led to the current conflagration. The people who will suffer the most in whatever course of action is sought will be the people of Lalgarh in the West Midnapore district. They are stuck between ruling parties at the state and centre, between ruling and opposition parties in the state and between an insurgent movement and the security of the nation.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Pictoral essay of life in Pakistan's refugee camps
The Boston Globe published some insightful pictures of refugee camps in Pakistan. The photographers have focused on the lives of children in these camps.
They cover a wide range of activities at these camps majority of whose residents tend to be displaced women and children. From lining up each day for food, for ID cards, attending makeshift schools, playing with the multitudes of other children, receiving medical aid, the pictures are a vivid account of the multitude of services provided by refugee camps.
The United Nations estimates that approximately 3 million people have been internally displaced due to the on-going fighting in the country's north-western provinces. The humanitarian body is reaching out for help in their efforts to set up enough camps as their current resources will not last for more than a month.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Is Obama repeating historic mistakes in Pakistan?
Is America repeating a historic mistake by pumping in money to support Pakistan? Will the Pakistani army move out of the country's north-west once the current operation is thought complete and allow militants to grow in influence again?
Praveen Swami analyzes and asks America to be more creative if it really wants to remove the militant threat on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.
Praveen Swami analyzes and asks America to be more creative if it really wants to remove the militant threat on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Indian media going orgasmic over a certain someone?
"Oh my god! He knows who Hugo Chavez is? Wow, that just makes him so well-read."
"He took off his shoes before entering someone's house! He offered his chair to a sixty-year old!"
"He reads books! And he buys them from Khan Market!"
This piece in the Outlook about the boy India is apparently in love with is nothing short of brilliant and flattering. The qualities listed above make this 39 year-old ready for the country's top office. One wonders if the author has met any average Indian boy or girl brought up in an urban, middle or upper middle class home. Please do read for a good laugh and perhaps, risk suffering from a complex!
http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20090601&fname=Cover+Story&sid=5
"He took off his shoes before entering someone's house! He offered his chair to a sixty-year old!"
"He reads books! And he buys them from Khan Market!"
This piece in the Outlook about the boy India is apparently in love with is nothing short of brilliant and flattering. The qualities listed above make this 39 year-old ready for the country's top office. One wonders if the author has met any average Indian boy or girl brought up in an urban, middle or upper middle class home. Please do read for a good laugh and perhaps, risk suffering from a complex!
http://www.outlookindia.com/full.asp?fodname=20090601&fname=Cover+Story&sid=5
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Cleaning Up
The New York Times had an article a few days back on Pakistani kids hitting the streets of Lahore trying to clean it up. Part of NYT's fetish for Pakistan of the last few months, it does stray from the focus on security. It speaks of a bunch of kids, all of whom sport sunglasses as the photographs show you, going out on hot Sundays and picking up trash in the market places. Apparently, they were sick of their parents and friends complaining about the government's ineptitude.
“The reason the Taliban is ruling Swat,” he said referring to a valley north of Islamabad where Islamic extremists took control this year, “is because they are organized. We need to organize, too.”
So says a Mr. Shahram Azhar. Big targets if they aim to organize from a trash collection society to an organized force that can rival the Taliban in relatively backward areas.
Preposterous as it sounds, there is some basis to the argument. A self-help society in a pure form (commie style) can provide a big boost to confidence and pride in your environment. One thing is supposed to lead to another till you're country of sample population is highly developed, evolved and goes by the name of Scandinavia.
Of course, it is almost impossible to make it work thanks to the cooperative dilemma. Everyone passes the responsibility on and assumes someone else will take care of it. Or the taxes that they pay mean the government will eventually hire some untouchable to clean the streets. Or everyone else is doing it so why can't I? It is a bit of a myth that education and wealth solves the issue because I've seen men step out of 7 series BMWs to relieve themselves (I am assuming they got the car thanks to some level of sophistication but if you know Delhi, you know it stands on very weak grounds). I've seen bottles of water hurled through the air by my own friends, who's education I can vouch for. So I believe it is part of the 'chalta hai' or 'anything goes' attitude that is so infuriating.
I tried a variant of the Pakistani kids' solution to see if any change can be affected. Having lunch at the home of a fellow blogger, one of his guests revealed his efforts to improve the community. He cleans up after people who litter, trying to guilt them into being ideal citizens. Inspired by this concept and his example, I decided to do the same. On a trip to Jaipur, I asked a shopkeeper where his trash-can was so I could throw away a bottle. He took it from me and chucked it into the street. I went and picked it up, pocketed it and told him it wasn't his trash-can. The bloody fool, if not disgruntled was far from gruntled. Nonetheless, to spite me, he threw another piece of trash into the street. I probably should have picked it up too but I walked away.
For every one person I've convinced to do the right thing, there are at least 4 others who behave like that idiot. A 20% strike rate isn't bad but then there's no guarantee that such behaviour continues on. Added to that, my sample size is small and so not too many judgements can be made but it still seems that there is no incentive to act clean. I've seen a cop try to fine someone for littering but let him go with a warning. Of course, they do the same for traffic misdemeanours when they don't posture for a bribe.
I guess one of the key issues is that people don't count the streets, the neighbourhoods as their own. Greater responsibility and ownership may prove more effective than education. The other key challenge is to remain motivated and to sustain enthusiasm for any such project. It is extremely difficult and though I wish the Pakistani kids the best of luck on it, I fear like most rich, urban kids they'll find something else to do on a Sunday afternoon.
The successful case study for them already exists. In Malcolm Gladwell's otherwise horribly pissing off book The Tipping Point, the broken windows example is very encouraging. It relates how New York City was turned from one of the scariest shitholes in the world to the slightly less scary, sometimes shithole metropolis love now. Graffitti on subway cars was cleaned off every night even as offenders would draw it back in the morning. It required immense levels of patience to repeat the 'good act' daily - one that I did not manage against the Jaipuri shop keeper. The payoff for NYC was something clean that people took more pride in and put some effort into keeping clean. Gladwell hypothesizes that it also led a massive reduction in crime rates.
The trite statements are easy to make in this case as the reporter of the NYT article did. Read on to Page 2 and the revelation - it is difficult to be cornier in life. Early days I think to say such things and a good way to make a fool of yourself. But here's hoping they continue and more people around South Asia follow their example. Any visible difference would be fabulous. Who knows, one might even topple the Taliban using it.
“The reason the Taliban is ruling Swat,” he said referring to a valley north of Islamabad where Islamic extremists took control this year, “is because they are organized. We need to organize, too.”
So says a Mr. Shahram Azhar. Big targets if they aim to organize from a trash collection society to an organized force that can rival the Taliban in relatively backward areas.
Preposterous as it sounds, there is some basis to the argument. A self-help society in a pure form (commie style) can provide a big boost to confidence and pride in your environment. One thing is supposed to lead to another till you're country of sample population is highly developed, evolved and goes by the name of Scandinavia.
Of course, it is almost impossible to make it work thanks to the cooperative dilemma. Everyone passes the responsibility on and assumes someone else will take care of it. Or the taxes that they pay mean the government will eventually hire some untouchable to clean the streets. Or everyone else is doing it so why can't I? It is a bit of a myth that education and wealth solves the issue because I've seen men step out of 7 series BMWs to relieve themselves (I am assuming they got the car thanks to some level of sophistication but if you know Delhi, you know it stands on very weak grounds). I've seen bottles of water hurled through the air by my own friends, who's education I can vouch for. So I believe it is part of the 'chalta hai' or 'anything goes' attitude that is so infuriating.
I tried a variant of the Pakistani kids' solution to see if any change can be affected. Having lunch at the home of a fellow blogger, one of his guests revealed his efforts to improve the community. He cleans up after people who litter, trying to guilt them into being ideal citizens. Inspired by this concept and his example, I decided to do the same. On a trip to Jaipur, I asked a shopkeeper where his trash-can was so I could throw away a bottle. He took it from me and chucked it into the street. I went and picked it up, pocketed it and told him it wasn't his trash-can. The bloody fool, if not disgruntled was far from gruntled. Nonetheless, to spite me, he threw another piece of trash into the street. I probably should have picked it up too but I walked away.
For every one person I've convinced to do the right thing, there are at least 4 others who behave like that idiot. A 20% strike rate isn't bad but then there's no guarantee that such behaviour continues on. Added to that, my sample size is small and so not too many judgements can be made but it still seems that there is no incentive to act clean. I've seen a cop try to fine someone for littering but let him go with a warning. Of course, they do the same for traffic misdemeanours when they don't posture for a bribe.
I guess one of the key issues is that people don't count the streets, the neighbourhoods as their own. Greater responsibility and ownership may prove more effective than education. The other key challenge is to remain motivated and to sustain enthusiasm for any such project. It is extremely difficult and though I wish the Pakistani kids the best of luck on it, I fear like most rich, urban kids they'll find something else to do on a Sunday afternoon.
The successful case study for them already exists. In Malcolm Gladwell's otherwise horribly pissing off book The Tipping Point, the broken windows example is very encouraging. It relates how New York City was turned from one of the scariest shitholes in the world to the slightly less scary, sometimes shithole metropolis love now. Graffitti on subway cars was cleaned off every night even as offenders would draw it back in the morning. It required immense levels of patience to repeat the 'good act' daily - one that I did not manage against the Jaipuri shop keeper. The payoff for NYC was something clean that people took more pride in and put some effort into keeping clean. Gladwell hypothesizes that it also led a massive reduction in crime rates.
The trite statements are easy to make in this case as the reporter of the NYT article did. Read on to Page 2 and the revelation - it is difficult to be cornier in life. Early days I think to say such things and a good way to make a fool of yourself. But here's hoping they continue and more people around South Asia follow their example. Any visible difference would be fabulous. Who knows, one might even topple the Taliban using it.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Dance of democracy?
The people have spoken with a decisive voice. The people have voted for good governance. The people have voted for change. The people have proved how vibrant India's democracy is. Since last Saturday, the Indian media and following it the international media have lauded the electoral process in the world's largest democracy.
Ever since a surprised electorate was informed by an even more surprised media that the Congress-led UPA was voted back to power with significant numbers (much to the party and coalition's own shock), all the reasons why Manmohan Singh, his cabinet and the country's grand old party were doing a terrible job at governance have been forgotten.
No one is asking the tough questions post elections as they all celebrate somebody, anybody's victory. Did the nation really come together to bring the Congress back to power as a positive affirmation of the manner in which it had conducted India's affairs in the last five years? I think for many voters it may have been a case of voting for the only viable alternative.
Whatever happened to the UPA's absolute inability to ensure domestic security with multiple bombs going off in cities all across the country, with the Naxalite movement expanding its reach everyday and with militants being able to cross in to India with just that much ease? With the Communists out of the way, the UPA is expected to usher in sweeping free-market reforms. Has everyone forgotten the UPA chairperson commending her mother-in-law for nationalizing Indian banks and saving the country as it steps in to the 21st century? Where is all the talk about a failed industrial and SEZ policy that will not create the number of new jobs as required? Suddenly all the detractors of mammoth policies like NREGA are hailing it as a revolution - will we no longer inquire about where majority of the funds set aside for such schemes disappear to? In the run up to the elections, while the media stalked the Gandhi siblings and made them heroes, there were many who complained of the inability of the Congress party and the country to find next generation leaders outside of political families. Now, the Gandhi son is being hailed as a messiah. All that talk of nepotism has been forgotten once again.
The sudden change in tone and rhetoric of the media and of political commentators is simply remarkable. Unfortunately, it makes a mockery of the historic electoral process the Indian population recently participated in. And it reduces the nation's challenges and necessary policy-making to a defensive activity, rather than elevating the debate around it to a more concrete and wholesome process.
And for those who thought we would never see these people throw their weight around national politics - welcome Lalu, Mayawati and Mulayam Singh to the UPA of 2009.
Ever since a surprised electorate was informed by an even more surprised media that the Congress-led UPA was voted back to power with significant numbers (much to the party and coalition's own shock), all the reasons why Manmohan Singh, his cabinet and the country's grand old party were doing a terrible job at governance have been forgotten.
No one is asking the tough questions post elections as they all celebrate somebody, anybody's victory. Did the nation really come together to bring the Congress back to power as a positive affirmation of the manner in which it had conducted India's affairs in the last five years? I think for many voters it may have been a case of voting for the only viable alternative.
Whatever happened to the UPA's absolute inability to ensure domestic security with multiple bombs going off in cities all across the country, with the Naxalite movement expanding its reach everyday and with militants being able to cross in to India with just that much ease? With the Communists out of the way, the UPA is expected to usher in sweeping free-market reforms. Has everyone forgotten the UPA chairperson commending her mother-in-law for nationalizing Indian banks and saving the country as it steps in to the 21st century? Where is all the talk about a failed industrial and SEZ policy that will not create the number of new jobs as required? Suddenly all the detractors of mammoth policies like NREGA are hailing it as a revolution - will we no longer inquire about where majority of the funds set aside for such schemes disappear to? In the run up to the elections, while the media stalked the Gandhi siblings and made them heroes, there were many who complained of the inability of the Congress party and the country to find next generation leaders outside of political families. Now, the Gandhi son is being hailed as a messiah. All that talk of nepotism has been forgotten once again.
The sudden change in tone and rhetoric of the media and of political commentators is simply remarkable. Unfortunately, it makes a mockery of the historic electoral process the Indian population recently participated in. And it reduces the nation's challenges and necessary policy-making to a defensive activity, rather than elevating the debate around it to a more concrete and wholesome process.
And for those who thought we would never see these people throw their weight around national politics - welcome Lalu, Mayawati and Mulayam Singh to the UPA of 2009.
Kissinger & Obama (Gods) meet in Valhalla to Discuss Hades
OK, so I'm mixing up mythology a little but I'm sure you get the picture. Clearly some big men are concerned about this.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
CONGRESS WINS INDIAN ELECTIONS 2009!! - For Real this Time
All the phases of voting, the nail-biting tension (for some I'm sure) and truckloads of suspense have resulted in the Congress winning and winning decisively. Congress has won more seats than any single party since they did the same feat back in 1991. It speaks to the fragmentation of India and the shift towards multi-party coalition politics with weakened governments in the last 18 years.
Has the Indian voter realized this process wasn't working too well? I don't think so, I think they felt the UPA were the lesser of all evils and have voted accordingly.
I was a fan of such politics for quite a while, thinking it to be true democracy where everyone has a voice in some form or the other. Pragmatically speaking though it means decisions are slowed and are constantly under attack with blackmailing threats from minority allies that they will back out. The mandate that Congress has gained over the last month means that they will be able to push more policies through. Best of all there is going to be no need to pay heed to the Left. The CPI (M) has been blown to smithereens in West Bengal by Mamta Banerjee and the Trinamool Congress, considered by many to be a mad woman (an euphemism). The Left had reared its head highest during the ratification of the 1-2-3 Act aka the Indo-US Nuclear Pact. India was not going to bow down to an imperialist capitalist nation according to them. Well sucks for you now, Left.
Extremely gratifying is the erosion of power of Mayawati and the BSP in Uttar Pradesh. Congress gained a heck of a lot under the organization, leadership and campaigning of a certain Rahul Gandhi. The man has been vindicated I feel. He has done brilliantly to bring Congress to such a position of power in a state where they have had virtually no presence in recent times. Moreover, the opposition he was up against in Mayawati is not to be smirked at. Going from strength to strength in recent times she was more than just a dark horse for the seat of Prime Minister. That itself was based on her ability to gain upwards of 50 seats and then lining up anti-UPA allies.
We now know that was optimistic but it didn't seem so for the longest time. Her appeal to the Dalit community had grown to encompass anyone poor including Muslims, long a vote bank for the 'secular' Congress. Running Muslim celebrity candidates such as Mohammad Azharuddin and fabulous campaigning by Rahul's best mate, Omar Abdullah, are some simple reasons to point to that the Muslim vote was regained. They were also no doubt aided by the antics of Varun Gandhi and my Mayawati's unbridled lust for central power, distracting her from her home state.
Rahul should be commended for his role in the overall victory and UP's contribution to it. He has said that he does not want to be a cabinet minister and that has its plusses and minuses. He probably should continue in his organizational role as it has done wonders as all can see. Abandoning it now may lead it to unravel overnight. As a cabinet minister though, he will gain the experience for the role he has been earmarked since birth - Prime Minister. He will also have an opportunity to prove he can handle the responsibility and can create a track record to be judged on. Manmohan Singh has asked him to join the cabinet and I feel certain he will this time round.
The question is what portfolio will he get? Surely, it will be something more minor to start with and a subsequent reshuffle landing him a more prominent role as Home Minister or something similar. Very, very interesting.
On the subject of Prime Minister himself, Manmohan is due to be the first back-to-back term PM in India since Nehru. Incredible, if true. To be fair, I'm sure Congress and its allies would prefer either Sonia or Rahul to be PM because it is a dynastic party. Manmohan is a regent who may be redundant. As long as his biggest fans remain Sonia and Rahul, Manmohan will be PM.
The BJP are deserved losers. Much of their campaign was negatively aimed at Manmohan. He is a weak leader, they said. A puppet with no voice of his own. But what was their strong leadership going to provide? Greater communalism than already exists? Alienating what is still nominally the world's strongest power? More hostility towards Pakistan? I don't see their economic policies appealing to anyone but urban businessmen. Not that Congress is much better saying we achieved 6% during a global recession so we rock. Going down to 6% (4.5% according to the IMF) from 9%+ is akin to recession, they must know that.
I still feel though that even though Congress is a hodge podge of everything, it is better than being the uber-nationalistic BJP. The BJP has a major need to re-invent itself much like the Republican Party in the US. Modi is the immediate future and has become a beacon of development. Personally, the spectre of Godhra still hangs over him. They are also counting the costs of defending Varun Gandhi's anti-Muslim statements. Though he won his seat, how many others were lost in the process? A Gandhi-Gandhi future? I don't think so.
The final reckoning should show a strong government without the need to dilly-dally or hold massive referendums on policy making. Stability is key for development and growth and most importantly for inspiring confidence in every walk of life. The people have spoken.
Has the Indian voter realized this process wasn't working too well? I don't think so, I think they felt the UPA were the lesser of all evils and have voted accordingly.
I was a fan of such politics for quite a while, thinking it to be true democracy where everyone has a voice in some form or the other. Pragmatically speaking though it means decisions are slowed and are constantly under attack with blackmailing threats from minority allies that they will back out. The mandate that Congress has gained over the last month means that they will be able to push more policies through. Best of all there is going to be no need to pay heed to the Left. The CPI (M) has been blown to smithereens in West Bengal by Mamta Banerjee and the Trinamool Congress, considered by many to be a mad woman (an euphemism). The Left had reared its head highest during the ratification of the 1-2-3 Act aka the Indo-US Nuclear Pact. India was not going to bow down to an imperialist capitalist nation according to them. Well sucks for you now, Left.
Extremely gratifying is the erosion of power of Mayawati and the BSP in Uttar Pradesh. Congress gained a heck of a lot under the organization, leadership and campaigning of a certain Rahul Gandhi. The man has been vindicated I feel. He has done brilliantly to bring Congress to such a position of power in a state where they have had virtually no presence in recent times. Moreover, the opposition he was up against in Mayawati is not to be smirked at. Going from strength to strength in recent times she was more than just a dark horse for the seat of Prime Minister. That itself was based on her ability to gain upwards of 50 seats and then lining up anti-UPA allies.
We now know that was optimistic but it didn't seem so for the longest time. Her appeal to the Dalit community had grown to encompass anyone poor including Muslims, long a vote bank for the 'secular' Congress. Running Muslim celebrity candidates such as Mohammad Azharuddin and fabulous campaigning by Rahul's best mate, Omar Abdullah, are some simple reasons to point to that the Muslim vote was regained. They were also no doubt aided by the antics of Varun Gandhi and my Mayawati's unbridled lust for central power, distracting her from her home state.
Rahul should be commended for his role in the overall victory and UP's contribution to it. He has said that he does not want to be a cabinet minister and that has its plusses and minuses. He probably should continue in his organizational role as it has done wonders as all can see. Abandoning it now may lead it to unravel overnight. As a cabinet minister though, he will gain the experience for the role he has been earmarked since birth - Prime Minister. He will also have an opportunity to prove he can handle the responsibility and can create a track record to be judged on. Manmohan Singh has asked him to join the cabinet and I feel certain he will this time round.
The question is what portfolio will he get? Surely, it will be something more minor to start with and a subsequent reshuffle landing him a more prominent role as Home Minister or something similar. Very, very interesting.
On the subject of Prime Minister himself, Manmohan is due to be the first back-to-back term PM in India since Nehru. Incredible, if true. To be fair, I'm sure Congress and its allies would prefer either Sonia or Rahul to be PM because it is a dynastic party. Manmohan is a regent who may be redundant. As long as his biggest fans remain Sonia and Rahul, Manmohan will be PM.
The BJP are deserved losers. Much of their campaign was negatively aimed at Manmohan. He is a weak leader, they said. A puppet with no voice of his own. But what was their strong leadership going to provide? Greater communalism than already exists? Alienating what is still nominally the world's strongest power? More hostility towards Pakistan? I don't see their economic policies appealing to anyone but urban businessmen. Not that Congress is much better saying we achieved 6% during a global recession so we rock. Going down to 6% (4.5% according to the IMF) from 9%+ is akin to recession, they must know that.
I still feel though that even though Congress is a hodge podge of everything, it is better than being the uber-nationalistic BJP. The BJP has a major need to re-invent itself much like the Republican Party in the US. Modi is the immediate future and has become a beacon of development. Personally, the spectre of Godhra still hangs over him. They are also counting the costs of defending Varun Gandhi's anti-Muslim statements. Though he won his seat, how many others were lost in the process? A Gandhi-Gandhi future? I don't think so.
The final reckoning should show a strong government without the need to dilly-dally or hold massive referendums on policy making. Stability is key for development and growth and most importantly for inspiring confidence in every walk of life. The people have spoken.
CONGRESS WINS INDIAN ELECTIONS 2009!! - Maybe
The title is a little misleading. OK, very misleading as results are not out at the time of writing and pretty much everyone is claiming victory. BJP have one-upped Congress this time by claiming that they will win more seats this year with their allies than Congress won last time round. That is 219 vs. 218. Congress apparently is forecasting a slightly lower figure for themselves but as these were based off some news channel I glanced at, I wouldn't take them too seriously.
Of course such figures are based on the belief of these parties that they allies they covet will get in bed with them. It is an incestual orgy of the worst kind - filled with octogenarian men. Yuck, to borrow a phrase many girls use these days. Here is an example of a few hours of horse-trading or whore-bidding.
Ol' Chief Minister of Bihar jumped in head first by announcing that he will join whichever party that commits to granting Bihar 'special status' if their alliance comes to power. Karat's Wikipedia entry perhaps describes him best.
'Nitish's nickname is Munna. He is a teetotaller.'
It is essentially saying look you need a screw and this is my price and I swear I'll do you all night long if you pay me. Except ol' Munna is the leader of JD(U) which is supposedly part of the NDA, the BJP's alliance. So the analogy really changes from a plain old whore naming her rate, to a mistress who wants more diamonds and moving into the richer man's harem for them.
The old horny men aren't just the BJP and Congress but also the Left aka Communist Party of India. What is truly beautiful about the Left is that they have this carrot being offered to ol' Munna saying, 'Look man I love you, OK. If you back us we'll possibly think about maybe naming you as one of the candidates within our sizeable group who could be Prime Minister if we win. Are we cool?" The Left is kissing a little bit more ass saying Bihar deserves 'special status' without actually saying what that is. It could just be a tag before the name, i.e. 'Special - Bihar'. Or the promise of Bihar getting a different font from the other states on any Indian map or atlas published here onwards. I'm personally leaning towards the latter.
Tragically, it turns out Munna wanted more money for Bihar. All the better for your gaiye-bhainse you know. Congress has said, "Look I'm horny and I'll take any chick right now, no matter how ugly and how much she charges. Unless she's racist like BJP or Shiv Sena because that is so wrong." This of course is just a few days after the PM Manny Singh called Munna racist himself. Just to be on the safe side given all they're saying, they appended their statement quoted 4 lines above:
'He added that Congress had not blocked development in any state. "Congress has not differentiated with any state on the issue of development," he said.'
Also:
BJP is a little taken aback obviously because they thought they had some seats locked in. Of course, they've promised 'special status' and claim they are the only ones who will provide it. Its really sucking for them if Congress is also doing this whole 'promising' thing that's so hep these days. Munna though could be in the fantastic position of having everyone promise to give 'special status' and therefore commit to getting into bed with whoever wins. That really negates his purpose so I'm guessing some new demand is close. Pretty much everyone else should also demand 'special status' to extract some true value. What's the point of standing for elections if you can't sell yourself if you win a seat?
The advantage Munna has of course is that he is promoting a book, released by Lord Meghnad Desai. The title of the book should you care, Special Category Status: A Case for Bihar. Sounds familiar right? Others could do it too if they just plagiarize like Munna allegedly did from a rather pissed off researcher at Jawaharlal Nehru University. Didn't sign the honour code, I guess.
There's going to be a lot more fun once the parties actually know who's won what and who's accordingly the best screw. I hope Congress wins simply because they seem to have a little bit more wisdom about them in basic matters of handling the country. For those who love the BJP because of the development they will bring, I can only say one thing:
They said the same about the Nazis.
P.S. - Munna a teetotaller? Really? In Bihar? How?
Of course such figures are based on the belief of these parties that they allies they covet will get in bed with them. It is an incestual orgy of the worst kind - filled with octogenarian men. Yuck, to borrow a phrase many girls use these days. Here is an example of a few hours of horse-trading or whore-bidding.
Ol' Chief Minister of Bihar jumped in head first by announcing that he will join whichever party that commits to granting Bihar 'special status' if their alliance comes to power. Karat's Wikipedia entry perhaps describes him best.
'Nitish's nickname is Munna. He is a teetotaller.'
It is essentially saying look you need a screw and this is my price and I swear I'll do you all night long if you pay me. Except ol' Munna is the leader of JD(U) which is supposedly part of the NDA, the BJP's alliance. So the analogy really changes from a plain old whore naming her rate, to a mistress who wants more diamonds and moving into the richer man's harem for them.
The old horny men aren't just the BJP and Congress but also the Left aka Communist Party of India. What is truly beautiful about the Left is that they have this carrot being offered to ol' Munna saying, 'Look man I love you, OK. If you back us we'll possibly think about maybe naming you as one of the candidates within our sizeable group who could be Prime Minister if we win. Are we cool?" The Left is kissing a little bit more ass saying Bihar deserves 'special status' without actually saying what that is. It could just be a tag before the name, i.e. 'Special - Bihar'. Or the promise of Bihar getting a different font from the other states on any Indian map or atlas published here onwards. I'm personally leaning towards the latter.
Tragically, it turns out Munna wanted more money for Bihar. All the better for your gaiye-bhainse you know. Congress has said, "Look I'm horny and I'll take any chick right now, no matter how ugly and how much she charges. Unless she's racist like BJP or Shiv Sena because that is so wrong." This of course is just a few days after the PM Manny Singh called Munna racist himself. Just to be on the safe side given all they're saying, they appended their statement quoted 4 lines above:
'He added that Congress had not blocked development in any state. "Congress has not differentiated with any state on the issue of development," he said.'
Also:
'"He (Nitish Kumar) needs to define and specify what he means by special status for Bihar. The UPA (the Congress-led United Progressive Alliance) has always taken into consideration demands when it has released funds for backward states," said Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh.'
Clutch answer. Of course we want you to develop just like we want everyone else to develop. Could be re-written as, "You're all equally special to me. How can you ask me to choose between you?"BJP is a little taken aback obviously because they thought they had some seats locked in. Of course, they've promised 'special status' and claim they are the only ones who will provide it. Its really sucking for them if Congress is also doing this whole 'promising' thing that's so hep these days. Munna though could be in the fantastic position of having everyone promise to give 'special status' and therefore commit to getting into bed with whoever wins. That really negates his purpose so I'm guessing some new demand is close. Pretty much everyone else should also demand 'special status' to extract some true value. What's the point of standing for elections if you can't sell yourself if you win a seat?
The advantage Munna has of course is that he is promoting a book, released by Lord Meghnad Desai. The title of the book should you care, Special Category Status: A Case for Bihar. Sounds familiar right? Others could do it too if they just plagiarize like Munna allegedly did from a rather pissed off researcher at Jawaharlal Nehru University. Didn't sign the honour code, I guess.
There's going to be a lot more fun once the parties actually know who's won what and who's accordingly the best screw. I hope Congress wins simply because they seem to have a little bit more wisdom about them in basic matters of handling the country. For those who love the BJP because of the development they will bring, I can only say one thing:
They said the same about the Nazis.
P.S. - Munna a teetotaller? Really? In Bihar? How?
Friday, May 15, 2009
Finding the Inner Bigot
"I'm going to vote for BJP."
"Why?"
"If Congress wins again, the Muslims will soon outnumber the Indians in India."
"What kind of insane are you, man?"
The exchange that took place after the last question was posed requires too much pardoning of French to be acceptable for a family blog such as this. Let's just say I was convinced my friend had lost his marbles.
To be fair, he is a successful businessman at a young age who makes highly rational (and profitable) decisions on a daily basis. Yet he could only (or would only) distinguish between Muslims and Indians. One is a religious group and the other a nationality. They are not mutually exclusive. Though being the world's largest minority they are far from a small group numbering 154 million and being the second largest Muslim population in a country after Indonesia. Take that all you pure Muslim states (I'm looking at you Sultanate of Brunei).
But I am not so different from my friend after some introspection. My attention is drawn to any men wearing salwar kameezes and prayer caps, women wearing burqas, mosques or madrassahs on my way through life. I should not look at them askew and I often don't. I do often look at them with some degree of bemusement and wonder if they are on 'our side' against jihadis and Talibanish elements and the 72 virgins in heaven. I should say don't get me wrong but I'm now in territory where I'm bound to be got wrong so the heck with it. For some measure of safety though, don't get me wrong. I have a whole bunch of friends, Indian and not, religious and irreligious, who have been born and bred as Muslims. I do not qualify or quantify (except here) them by their religion and it is yet to be a source of conflict in my relationship with any of them. All these vast dollops of perspective have not saved me from the bemusement and wonder mentioned earlier.
As part of my singling out of Muslims as a community, I try to have conversations with anyone with a suspicious bearded visage with some hope of entertainment, clarifying their secular credentials and perhaps one controversial moment that can provide lots of the former and disprove all of the latter. While in Ahmedabad, I went to the Jumma Masjid with the aim of being 'touristy' at a 600 year old structure and perhaps meeting some zealots. I managed to get an audience with the maulana who turned out to be an exceedingly kind man. It should be no surprise that he was but I expected someone to thunder down at me. He took in my questions about the history of the venue and explained the reign of Ahmad Shah in some detail. I really didn't hear much as I steeled myself to ask him his views on the Taliban. Foolish, to say the least. He eyed me rather sternly (looking much like a non-gay Albus Dumbledore), judged me as an upstart of the worst kind and then told me the extremists are just that - extreme. He then looked back at what he was reading (I presume the Quran as I had interrupted him while he was praying) and I asked for his leave. It was idiotically putting him on the spot and I received better than I should have.
Not satisfied at the time with asking sensitive questions, I did the same with a cab driver once back in Bombay. He had a beard (as mentioned before I find them conspicuous) and his cab was missing any stickers, statuettes (or idols if you prefer) and any other religious accessories such as beads or what-have-you. I asked him if he was Muslim and he mumbled in the affirmative. I asked him his view on the fundamentalists too.
At this point we were interrupted by, "I never really knew she could dance like this, she makes a man wanna speak Spanish." Hips Don't Lie by Shakira. The cabbie's ringtone. It went off 4-5 times during the ride and while he didn't answer it once, he always waited till Wyclef said 'Shakira, Shakira' before silencing it. A memorable conversation, indeed.
He didn't think the jihadis were in sync with the holy texts. He asked me why I picked on him in particular. I told him he looked religious so I had asked out of curiosity.
"It is the media that forms this image in your head. They show any traditional form of dressing or carrying oneself as a direct link to terrorism. A few rotten apples and they spoil the barrell. I'm just as Indian as you, you know but you thought of me as Muslim. Let me ask you this - how many Hindus did you ask about their feelings towards the Shiv Sena and MNS?"
Good point. I am indoctrinated by the media and by society around me, just like my friend and countless others. If I am to be a little less naive (and not simply blame media and society), I can also see some inherent biases within me probably in my upbringing but at the very least in my surrounding environment. I associate two images very strongly in my head now. It is why I look at men in salwar kameez a little longer for weird behaviour or try to ask my cabbie such questions. It is why I snap a photo of a (modern) madrassah in Bombay. Any Muslims that I don't know well enough to disregard their religion, I consider as some sort of trespasser. Apart from the simplicity of my mind, my prejudice was exposed best by his question of me. I had not nor have I since asked any Marathis about their sympathies towards the Hitler-worshipping, neo-fascist Thackeray organizations.
Such segregation of course is almost a norm in this country. While Manmohan Singh has questioned the secularity of Nitish Kumar for hanging out with good ol' Narender Modi, the Congress has fielded Mohammad Azharuddin in Moradabad, UP with the hope of drawing estranged Muslim voters to a Muslim celebrity. In the midst of it all, a lot of people have lost sight of putting nationality first. Perhaps it is to be expected in such a diverse nation where the population has the attention span of a gnat. Minds are easy fodder for anyone who wants to pervert them, and where divisions along cultural and religious lines can be made, they will be thick as stone. It is virtually the law of this land.
Maybe the simple solution for people like me and my friend, is to listen to Hips Don't Lie as my cabbie was intent on doing. Solid advice, Wyclef.
"Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si), su casa." True that.
"Why?"
"If Congress wins again, the Muslims will soon outnumber the Indians in India."
"What kind of insane are you, man?"
The exchange that took place after the last question was posed requires too much pardoning of French to be acceptable for a family blog such as this. Let's just say I was convinced my friend had lost his marbles.
To be fair, he is a successful businessman at a young age who makes highly rational (and profitable) decisions on a daily basis. Yet he could only (or would only) distinguish between Muslims and Indians. One is a religious group and the other a nationality. They are not mutually exclusive. Though being the world's largest minority they are far from a small group numbering 154 million and being the second largest Muslim population in a country after Indonesia. Take that all you pure Muslim states (I'm looking at you Sultanate of Brunei).
But I am not so different from my friend after some introspection. My attention is drawn to any men wearing salwar kameezes and prayer caps, women wearing burqas, mosques or madrassahs on my way through life. I should not look at them askew and I often don't. I do often look at them with some degree of bemusement and wonder if they are on 'our side' against jihadis and Talibanish elements and the 72 virgins in heaven. I should say don't get me wrong but I'm now in territory where I'm bound to be got wrong so the heck with it. For some measure of safety though, don't get me wrong. I have a whole bunch of friends, Indian and not, religious and irreligious, who have been born and bred as Muslims. I do not qualify or quantify (except here) them by their religion and it is yet to be a source of conflict in my relationship with any of them. All these vast dollops of perspective have not saved me from the bemusement and wonder mentioned earlier.
As part of my singling out of Muslims as a community, I try to have conversations with anyone with a suspicious bearded visage with some hope of entertainment, clarifying their secular credentials and perhaps one controversial moment that can provide lots of the former and disprove all of the latter. While in Ahmedabad, I went to the Jumma Masjid with the aim of being 'touristy' at a 600 year old structure and perhaps meeting some zealots. I managed to get an audience with the maulana who turned out to be an exceedingly kind man. It should be no surprise that he was but I expected someone to thunder down at me. He took in my questions about the history of the venue and explained the reign of Ahmad Shah in some detail. I really didn't hear much as I steeled myself to ask him his views on the Taliban. Foolish, to say the least. He eyed me rather sternly (looking much like a non-gay Albus Dumbledore), judged me as an upstart of the worst kind and then told me the extremists are just that - extreme. He then looked back at what he was reading (I presume the Quran as I had interrupted him while he was praying) and I asked for his leave. It was idiotically putting him on the spot and I received better than I should have.
Not satisfied at the time with asking sensitive questions, I did the same with a cab driver once back in Bombay. He had a beard (as mentioned before I find them conspicuous) and his cab was missing any stickers, statuettes (or idols if you prefer) and any other religious accessories such as beads or what-have-you. I asked him if he was Muslim and he mumbled in the affirmative. I asked him his view on the fundamentalists too.
At this point we were interrupted by, "I never really knew she could dance like this, she makes a man wanna speak Spanish." Hips Don't Lie by Shakira. The cabbie's ringtone. It went off 4-5 times during the ride and while he didn't answer it once, he always waited till Wyclef said 'Shakira, Shakira' before silencing it. A memorable conversation, indeed.
He didn't think the jihadis were in sync with the holy texts. He asked me why I picked on him in particular. I told him he looked religious so I had asked out of curiosity.
"It is the media that forms this image in your head. They show any traditional form of dressing or carrying oneself as a direct link to terrorism. A few rotten apples and they spoil the barrell. I'm just as Indian as you, you know but you thought of me as Muslim. Let me ask you this - how many Hindus did you ask about their feelings towards the Shiv Sena and MNS?"
Good point. I am indoctrinated by the media and by society around me, just like my friend and countless others. If I am to be a little less naive (and not simply blame media and society), I can also see some inherent biases within me probably in my upbringing but at the very least in my surrounding environment. I associate two images very strongly in my head now. It is why I look at men in salwar kameez a little longer for weird behaviour or try to ask my cabbie such questions. It is why I snap a photo of a (modern) madrassah in Bombay. Any Muslims that I don't know well enough to disregard their religion, I consider as some sort of trespasser. Apart from the simplicity of my mind, my prejudice was exposed best by his question of me. I had not nor have I since asked any Marathis about their sympathies towards the Hitler-worshipping, neo-fascist Thackeray organizations.
Such segregation of course is almost a norm in this country. While Manmohan Singh has questioned the secularity of Nitish Kumar for hanging out with good ol' Narender Modi, the Congress has fielded Mohammad Azharuddin in Moradabad, UP with the hope of drawing estranged Muslim voters to a Muslim celebrity. In the midst of it all, a lot of people have lost sight of putting nationality first. Perhaps it is to be expected in such a diverse nation where the population has the attention span of a gnat. Minds are easy fodder for anyone who wants to pervert them, and where divisions along cultural and religious lines can be made, they will be thick as stone. It is virtually the law of this land.
Maybe the simple solution for people like me and my friend, is to listen to Hips Don't Lie as my cabbie was intent on doing. Solid advice, Wyclef.
"Como se llama (si), bonita (si), mi casa (si), su casa." True that.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
A Prime Minister for India - Part 1
As India looks for its 18th Prime Minister, it wishes to leave no stone unturned. All parties want to consider all possible candidates for the highest post in the land and this in turn is leading to heated arguments amongst the various alliances and partnerships that have been concocted. What started out as an exciting election season has fizzled out in recent weeks to a rather petty affair. All the 'get out the vote' campaigns notwithstanding, it is safe to say Indians are in no way enthused with the prospects of the present elections and the direction of the national leadership in the country.
Presumed BJP candidate for the highest post in the land, LK Advani, after first fighting off Bhairon Singh Shekhawat's claims to seniority and now troubled by calls for Narendra Modi's primacy, has gone from being first out of the blocks to being back in the pen. He started his candidacy with tremendous vitality and his dynamic forays into the blogosphere and his fight for the youth vote had energized various parts of his base. Very soon though, it all fizzled out into several controversies ranging from Varun Gandhi's communal tirade to money in offshore accounts to Narendra Modi's role in the Gujarat riots.
Advani has looked tired, ineffective and with an inconsistent message he's as far away from No. 7 Racecourse Road as he could have ever imagined in this campaign. While he's sure to be the leader of any post poll, BJP led alliance, his clout has diminished with several high profile calls for Narendra Modi's candidacy having consumed the public's imagination in recent days. It is also not very likely that the BJP with its allies have any significant advantage in the elections, if any at all. This results in a more measured and circumspect Advani, not the one we saw early on in the campaign season. His candidacy should be presumed secure for the moment, but not a very impressive one.
His number one adversary and current Prime Minister Manmohan Singh does not possess the drive or political will that Advani does and considering he's already been PM, does not seem to want it as badly. This has allowed him to play the cool and calm aggressor, even while being the incumbent. Vilifying Advani and Party for their communal stance on most matters and their poor record with terrorism even while they talk a big game when out of power, Manmohan has been an outspoken man in recent times and he's taken the fight to Advani, who thought he could bully him into submission.
Even while dealing with his own party's problems of the Bofors scandal, the situation in Sri Lanka, the economic slowdown and the handling of the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks, Manmohan has received good PR, riding high on the heels of his clinching the Nuclear Deal for India, by coming out strongly against the Sri Lankan government, with his guarantee to solve the economic crisis soon after he comes to power a second time and last, but not least, his very well received meeting with Barack Obama on the sidelines of the G-20 summit in London.
As Rahul Gandhi ruled himself out after the ridiculous, but expected cries for him as PM began, and Pranab Mukherjee said he would never become PM after citing his lack of fluency in Hindi, Singh is sure to be the Congress' PM candidate in any Congress led alliance after the elections. One can only hope Singh does not choose this go around as a befitting time to repay Sonia Gandhi for her shocking about turn on the Prime Ministership after the 2004 elections to award the role to Manmohan. India can do without these theatrics as we have never had a shortage of such stunts. The office of Prime Ministership in a parliamentary democracy might be played down in theory, but in practice the man matters as much as his ideology. Anybody other than Singh leading the Congress Party will be at best a letdown and at worst a dirty trick on the public.
Presumed BJP candidate for the highest post in the land, LK Advani, after first fighting off Bhairon Singh Shekhawat's claims to seniority and now troubled by calls for Narendra Modi's primacy, has gone from being first out of the blocks to being back in the pen. He started his candidacy with tremendous vitality and his dynamic forays into the blogosphere and his fight for the youth vote had energized various parts of his base. Very soon though, it all fizzled out into several controversies ranging from Varun Gandhi's communal tirade to money in offshore accounts to Narendra Modi's role in the Gujarat riots.
Advani has looked tired, ineffective and with an inconsistent message he's as far away from No. 7 Racecourse Road as he could have ever imagined in this campaign. While he's sure to be the leader of any post poll, BJP led alliance, his clout has diminished with several high profile calls for Narendra Modi's candidacy having consumed the public's imagination in recent days. It is also not very likely that the BJP with its allies have any significant advantage in the elections, if any at all. This results in a more measured and circumspect Advani, not the one we saw early on in the campaign season. His candidacy should be presumed secure for the moment, but not a very impressive one.
His number one adversary and current Prime Minister Manmohan Singh does not possess the drive or political will that Advani does and considering he's already been PM, does not seem to want it as badly. This has allowed him to play the cool and calm aggressor, even while being the incumbent. Vilifying Advani and Party for their communal stance on most matters and their poor record with terrorism even while they talk a big game when out of power, Manmohan has been an outspoken man in recent times and he's taken the fight to Advani, who thought he could bully him into submission.
Even while dealing with his own party's problems of the Bofors scandal, the situation in Sri Lanka, the economic slowdown and the handling of the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks, Manmohan has received good PR, riding high on the heels of his clinching the Nuclear Deal for India, by coming out strongly against the Sri Lankan government, with his guarantee to solve the economic crisis soon after he comes to power a second time and last, but not least, his very well received meeting with Barack Obama on the sidelines of the G-20 summit in London.
As Rahul Gandhi ruled himself out after the ridiculous, but expected cries for him as PM began, and Pranab Mukherjee said he would never become PM after citing his lack of fluency in Hindi, Singh is sure to be the Congress' PM candidate in any Congress led alliance after the elections. One can only hope Singh does not choose this go around as a befitting time to repay Sonia Gandhi for her shocking about turn on the Prime Ministership after the 2004 elections to award the role to Manmohan. India can do without these theatrics as we have never had a shortage of such stunts. The office of Prime Ministership in a parliamentary democracy might be played down in theory, but in practice the man matters as much as his ideology. Anybody other than Singh leading the Congress Party will be at best a letdown and at worst a dirty trick on the public.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Political Correctness for a Diverse Democracy
Having recently been introduced to the concept of political correctness, Indian politicians are having a field day with this new instrument. It fits in wonderfully with their notions of vote bank politics, like a child with a new G.I.Joe for his collection. All this of course only when they catch an opponent in a faux pas. When it applies to them, they feign naivete and ignorance as the situation demands. Never having being known for their great restraint in rhetoric, it becomes a spanner in the works for some, intending to seal their place in history with some choice utterances. Required to now carefully consider what they spew from their mouths, brash claims turn into red faced apologies, preposterous ideologies become regretful assertions that are beautiful proof for the statement that "patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels".
Close on the heels of Jawaharlal Nehru's great-grandson serving time in the cooler for hate speech, we have our very own Munnabhai turned convict turned Samajwadi Party General Secretary Sanjay Dutt in the docks for his "sexist" and "condescending" remarks against the second most powerful lady in the country, Bahujan Samaj supremo and UP Chief Minister, Maha Maya. While the affectionate sentiments one associates with a jhappi (hug, in Munnaspeak) and pappi (kiss) are only in keeping with the wonderfully chummy history of the SP and BSP, Dutt is nowadays expected to manifest his benevolence to female opponents in more mature and enlightened ways. So say our national gurus of political correctness.
Dutt's boss though, Mulayam Singh Yadav, could not care less for this new fad. In fact, he wishes to do away with the entire language in which this fad is typically present, one of India's two official languages, English. Yadav also does not care for this modern day hindrance to civilized agriculture, the computer. Even in this great age of moronic proclamations, this ranks right up there up some of the best that Bal Thackeray, Lalu Yadav and Vaiko have had to offer. While the opposition does not seem to have many qualms with these assertions, they lay their political incorrectness allegations against Yadav's derogatory stance on women. Yadav, in a brilliant move, has countered this by recruiting well known woman lover Nafisa Ali, into the fold. The opposition, defeated and dejected, has trained its sights onto other opponents now.
In the south of India this new fad is non-existent. Historically flippant on the issue of PC; Tamils especially, have other priorities. We have anyone and everyone weighing in on the situation in Sri Lanka without a care in the world as to the veracity of their claims. Having feigned concern for the last six months, people now simply speculate on the well being of LTTE chief Prabhakaran. With bold claims on what grievous damages they might inflict on civil society in case of any harm to this little known man, anyone with access to a mic has held forth on this topic. While there is agreement across the political spectrum on this issue, politics is the art of the possible, and hence differences must be identified. These differences though do not lend themselves to scrutiny under the banner of political correctness. There is no need, as political discourse here is so removed from civilization as we have come to know it that futile attempts at PC are like spitting into a tornado.
Is there another example of a country that has the brazenness to debate the status as a terrorist group of an organization that is directly responsible for killing one of its former Prime Ministers? While there is no semblance of a societal conscience in India, our degraded politicians will argue in peace, delusional and unconscionable to the last. With an intelligentsia and a Fourth Estate too meek to question this absolute atrocity, attention instead is continuously paid to trivialities and farces. In the starkest of ironies the only person left to address this issue is one of the single greatest advocates of this ridiculous position itself, Jayalalitha. It is like Hitler asking Churchill to be upset with Mussolini for supporting Hitler. Where is the need for political correctness?
Close on the heels of Jawaharlal Nehru's great-grandson serving time in the cooler for hate speech, we have our very own Munnabhai turned convict turned Samajwadi Party General Secretary Sanjay Dutt in the docks for his "sexist" and "condescending" remarks against the second most powerful lady in the country, Bahujan Samaj supremo and UP Chief Minister, Maha Maya. While the affectionate sentiments one associates with a jhappi (hug, in Munnaspeak) and pappi (kiss) are only in keeping with the wonderfully chummy history of the SP and BSP, Dutt is nowadays expected to manifest his benevolence to female opponents in more mature and enlightened ways. So say our national gurus of political correctness.
Dutt's boss though, Mulayam Singh Yadav, could not care less for this new fad. In fact, he wishes to do away with the entire language in which this fad is typically present, one of India's two official languages, English. Yadav also does not care for this modern day hindrance to civilized agriculture, the computer. Even in this great age of moronic proclamations, this ranks right up there up some of the best that Bal Thackeray, Lalu Yadav and Vaiko have had to offer. While the opposition does not seem to have many qualms with these assertions, they lay their political incorrectness allegations against Yadav's derogatory stance on women. Yadav, in a brilliant move, has countered this by recruiting well known woman lover Nafisa Ali, into the fold. The opposition, defeated and dejected, has trained its sights onto other opponents now.
In the south of India this new fad is non-existent. Historically flippant on the issue of PC; Tamils especially, have other priorities. We have anyone and everyone weighing in on the situation in Sri Lanka without a care in the world as to the veracity of their claims. Having feigned concern for the last six months, people now simply speculate on the well being of LTTE chief Prabhakaran. With bold claims on what grievous damages they might inflict on civil society in case of any harm to this little known man, anyone with access to a mic has held forth on this topic. While there is agreement across the political spectrum on this issue, politics is the art of the possible, and hence differences must be identified. These differences though do not lend themselves to scrutiny under the banner of political correctness. There is no need, as political discourse here is so removed from civilization as we have come to know it that futile attempts at PC are like spitting into a tornado.
Is there another example of a country that has the brazenness to debate the status as a terrorist group of an organization that is directly responsible for killing one of its former Prime Ministers? While there is no semblance of a societal conscience in India, our degraded politicians will argue in peace, delusional and unconscionable to the last. With an intelligentsia and a Fourth Estate too meek to question this absolute atrocity, attention instead is continuously paid to trivialities and farces. In the starkest of ironies the only person left to address this issue is one of the single greatest advocates of this ridiculous position itself, Jayalalitha. It is like Hitler asking Churchill to be upset with Mussolini for supporting Hitler. Where is the need for political correctness?
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Mad as Hell - The Only Response to the Taliban Juggernaut
In Pakistan, people are finally, ‘mad as hell.’ For too long, the ‘mad as hell’ platform has been monopolized by the far-right Islamic extremists. In a country, where everything is wrong, being ‘mad as hell’ will bring you closer to the people than trying to defend the present status quo ever will. For a short time, Nawaz Sharif was ‘mad as hell’ about the deposition of the Chief Justice (read: disqualification of his brother), and the laurels and popularity his stand brought him, across the length and breadth of the Punjab cannot be disputed. Altaf Hussain and the MQM are always ‘mad as hell’, and they continue to enjoy the unqualified support of the majority of Karachi’s inhabitants. The same applies to the Balochi nationalists, the Sindhi nationalists, and generally ‘Pissed off Pakistanis’ across the political spectrum. But by far, the Taliban and the rest of the Islamic extremist network have definitely ruled the ‘high blood-pressure’ roost. And it has paid dividends. They have excelled in homing in on key grievances among peoples in the areas of the country who are the most entitled to being angry, the peoples who have consistently been marginalized and alienated by the leadership and leading institutions of this country.
The result of the rightward shift of this country since the Zia days, is that this country’s liberal intelligentsia, has also been marginalized. Finally, however, they seem to have woken up, and are, at last ‘mad as hell.’ The Nizam-e-Adl regulations in Swat, the resultant institutionalization of Taliban control, the flogging video, have finally brought out their rage. One columnist writes, “We do not want to live in a society where anyone is flogged, where anyone’s limb is hacked off, where anyone is stoned. Period.” Another writes, “No more waiting and seeing! We have already wasted a lot of time over this. It’s now a matter of life and death of the people, nation, state and the country. It’s time to take the terror tangle head-on.” Yet another claims, that the Nizam-e-Adl bill, “passed by the political parties present in the assembly on that disgraceful Monday in April is pure and simple appeasement by a weak government, by parties who have abandoned their principles.”
Meanwhile, in the Senate, lawmakers are showing their anger as well…finally. After the shameful display last week in the National Assembly, when the Nizam-e-Adl bill was passed in a day, and Sufi Mohammad, the broker of the Nizam-e-Adl deal from the Taliban side, our government’s apparent “ally” in Swat, declared all legislators who voted against the bill “Non-Muslim”, the MQM senators were quick to show their anger, pleading with the Senate Chairman, “Mr Chairman please tell us whether we sitting here are non-Muslims and whatever have been doing for the last one and half year was un-Islamic?”
Even Maulana Fazlur Rehman, the leader of the Islamic political party, the JUI, usually so supportive of the Taliban and their ilk, seems at least worried, declaring, “The process of enforcing Sharia in Swat is incorrect.”
Yes, they are all ‘mad as hell.’
The reason? There is no state more marginalizing and disenfranchising than a Taliban state. Liberals will, of course, be non-existent, ethnic parties will be irrelevant, and given Sufi Mohammad’s recent rants against democracy, parliaments, judiciaries, and all institutions of the modern nation-state, even political Islamists will lose their place. So, everyone’s feeling the pinch. Good for them. About time too.
But two key players in the political landscape, two very key players, remain in their Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne attires, refusing to acknowledge the dire situation and the need to don the cape of unwavering confrontation and uncompromising action. The ruling Pakistan Peoples’ Party, and the leading opposition party the Pakistan Muslim League, which also runs the Punjab the largest province. In the current political configuration, they firmly hold the reins of power and influence, and fear doing anything to lose their grip. Far from being ‘mad as hell’ they seem rather content. Prime Minister Gilani is bending over backwards to please the extremists, defending Sufi Mohammad’s statements against democracy, the constitution, the Supreme Court etc, saying, “there are many people who do not believe in democracy.” It’s a sad day when the prime minister of a democratic government defends such a position taken by the de facto authority of one of the regions that falls under his supervision. Meanwhile, the Muslim League prefers to dodge the issue, falling back on anti-Americanism, declaring the end of American drone attacks as the key to ending the Taliban onslaught, thus framing the Taliban’s position as a mere defense reaction to American aggression, as opposed to describing the Taliban for what they are, militant barbarian expansionists.
This confusion and inaction from the two biggest political players is infuriating. The Pakistan Muslim League have done much to earn the committed support of the people of Punjab, and if the League choose to take a firm stand against the Taliban and Islamic extremism, they do not stand to lose this base. In fact, a strong position on their part could well help bring around a lot of people who are currently on the fence regarding the threat posed by the Taliban. They have nothing to lose, and the country has everything to gain if they take a stand. The PPP, ever since their dramatic failure regarding the Long March, has retreated into such a cowardly posture, that they refuse to acknowledge the opportunity they have right now. Let’s face it: the current peace deal in Swat will not last. This is the TNSM and the Taliban we are talking about. In fact, the current expansion of operations by the Swat Taliban in Buner and Mansehra clearly demonstrates that the deal is really only being held up by the government. This is the time therefore, that they should be vilifying the Taliban, their expansionist intentions, and their perverse brand of Islamic justice. They should be showing how, in the peace deal they sincerely pursued they have been betrayed by the other side, expose the other side for what they are. This is their chance to be ‘mad as hell.’
The two leading political parties benefit the most from the present status quo, and seem unwilling to acknowledge that the way things are going presently, this current political landscape will very quickly disappear. The two main parties are allowing themselves to be held hostage by vocal minorities and political setbacks, where as they need to show some leadership. The left is outraged; the right is concerned, so if the center takes a stand, there is a good chance the rest will fall behind them. The time is now, people are waking up to the danger, to the fact that barbarians are not just at the gates, but have already breached the walls, and are in our heartland, in our cities, in our neighbourhoods, permeating every porous inch of our world, ready to bring an end, a dramatic end to the nation, the identity, the way of life, that we hold so dear. The leaders can now choose between being the Neroes of our tragic downfall or the Churchills of our glorious resistance. The time for the leaders to be ‘mad as hell’ is now.
The result of the rightward shift of this country since the Zia days, is that this country’s liberal intelligentsia, has also been marginalized. Finally, however, they seem to have woken up, and are, at last ‘mad as hell.’ The Nizam-e-Adl regulations in Swat, the resultant institutionalization of Taliban control, the flogging video, have finally brought out their rage. One columnist writes, “We do not want to live in a society where anyone is flogged, where anyone’s limb is hacked off, where anyone is stoned. Period.” Another writes, “No more waiting and seeing! We have already wasted a lot of time over this. It’s now a matter of life and death of the people, nation, state and the country. It’s time to take the terror tangle head-on.” Yet another claims, that the Nizam-e-Adl bill, “passed by the political parties present in the assembly on that disgraceful Monday in April is pure and simple appeasement by a weak government, by parties who have abandoned their principles.”
Meanwhile, in the Senate, lawmakers are showing their anger as well…finally. After the shameful display last week in the National Assembly, when the Nizam-e-Adl bill was passed in a day, and Sufi Mohammad, the broker of the Nizam-e-Adl deal from the Taliban side, our government’s apparent “ally” in Swat, declared all legislators who voted against the bill “Non-Muslim”, the MQM senators were quick to show their anger, pleading with the Senate Chairman, “Mr Chairman please tell us whether we sitting here are non-Muslims and whatever have been doing for the last one and half year was un-Islamic?”
Even Maulana Fazlur Rehman, the leader of the Islamic political party, the JUI, usually so supportive of the Taliban and their ilk, seems at least worried, declaring, “The process of enforcing Sharia in Swat is incorrect.”
Yes, they are all ‘mad as hell.’
The reason? There is no state more marginalizing and disenfranchising than a Taliban state. Liberals will, of course, be non-existent, ethnic parties will be irrelevant, and given Sufi Mohammad’s recent rants against democracy, parliaments, judiciaries, and all institutions of the modern nation-state, even political Islamists will lose their place. So, everyone’s feeling the pinch. Good for them. About time too.
But two key players in the political landscape, two very key players, remain in their Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne attires, refusing to acknowledge the dire situation and the need to don the cape of unwavering confrontation and uncompromising action. The ruling Pakistan Peoples’ Party, and the leading opposition party the Pakistan Muslim League, which also runs the Punjab the largest province. In the current political configuration, they firmly hold the reins of power and influence, and fear doing anything to lose their grip. Far from being ‘mad as hell’ they seem rather content. Prime Minister Gilani is bending over backwards to please the extremists, defending Sufi Mohammad’s statements against democracy, the constitution, the Supreme Court etc, saying, “there are many people who do not believe in democracy.” It’s a sad day when the prime minister of a democratic government defends such a position taken by the de facto authority of one of the regions that falls under his supervision. Meanwhile, the Muslim League prefers to dodge the issue, falling back on anti-Americanism, declaring the end of American drone attacks as the key to ending the Taliban onslaught, thus framing the Taliban’s position as a mere defense reaction to American aggression, as opposed to describing the Taliban for what they are, militant barbarian expansionists.
This confusion and inaction from the two biggest political players is infuriating. The Pakistan Muslim League have done much to earn the committed support of the people of Punjab, and if the League choose to take a firm stand against the Taliban and Islamic extremism, they do not stand to lose this base. In fact, a strong position on their part could well help bring around a lot of people who are currently on the fence regarding the threat posed by the Taliban. They have nothing to lose, and the country has everything to gain if they take a stand. The PPP, ever since their dramatic failure regarding the Long March, has retreated into such a cowardly posture, that they refuse to acknowledge the opportunity they have right now. Let’s face it: the current peace deal in Swat will not last. This is the TNSM and the Taliban we are talking about. In fact, the current expansion of operations by the Swat Taliban in Buner and Mansehra clearly demonstrates that the deal is really only being held up by the government. This is the time therefore, that they should be vilifying the Taliban, their expansionist intentions, and their perverse brand of Islamic justice. They should be showing how, in the peace deal they sincerely pursued they have been betrayed by the other side, expose the other side for what they are. This is their chance to be ‘mad as hell.’
The two leading political parties benefit the most from the present status quo, and seem unwilling to acknowledge that the way things are going presently, this current political landscape will very quickly disappear. The two main parties are allowing themselves to be held hostage by vocal minorities and political setbacks, where as they need to show some leadership. The left is outraged; the right is concerned, so if the center takes a stand, there is a good chance the rest will fall behind them. The time is now, people are waking up to the danger, to the fact that barbarians are not just at the gates, but have already breached the walls, and are in our heartland, in our cities, in our neighbourhoods, permeating every porous inch of our world, ready to bring an end, a dramatic end to the nation, the identity, the way of life, that we hold so dear. The leaders can now choose between being the Neroes of our tragic downfall or the Churchills of our glorious resistance. The time for the leaders to be ‘mad as hell’ is now.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Marriages made in heaven...
We have a unique system of getting young people (who might other wise indulge in shameless activities such as dating, being in relationships, making out, hooking up, having sex, what have you may) hitched in India. Young here means since the time they hit puberty or some godforsaken age like that. It is a system that has been tried and tested over centuries and even in 2009, at the height of human civilization, it is considered the sacred method of finding your partner for life, as they like to put it.
Such a foolproof method that binds two people, not remotely in love with one another, into a life long relationship that is meant to be born out of love works in a very sophisticated, yet simple manner. It can be replicated anywhere and works like a charm to cure people of their frustrated, lonely lives. All you need is a list of questions.
Here are some if you are a boy or a concerned associate of the young boy, looking for a 'suitable' girl:
1. What is your family's socio-economic history? Do you have some loaded uncles or aunts? What chunk of your parents hard-earned money and savings are you going to blow up so my acquaintances and I can have a party of our lifetimes, and essentially I never have to work again?
2. Why just that much money, yaar? Your parents didn't plan for this glorious day since the time you were born?
3. Can you cook four meals everyday?
4. In between cooking meals can you do the dishes, wash clothes, keep our house (which your parents will be gifting us) neat and tidy?
5. How many sons will you bear and rear?
6. What do the stars say about your future? Do they align with mine? No, my astrologer has to say they align with mine, because yours has probably been paid off!
7. Do you have male friends? Why? Do you have any friends? Why?
8. You can read and write! Well, you won't need any of that for sure.
This is just the preliminary round. If the girl and her poor parents make it through, the questions get tougher.
For the young girls, if you have not figured it out by now - you don't get to ask questions! All you get is a marriage made in heaven!
Such a foolproof method that binds two people, not remotely in love with one another, into a life long relationship that is meant to be born out of love works in a very sophisticated, yet simple manner. It can be replicated anywhere and works like a charm to cure people of their frustrated, lonely lives. All you need is a list of questions.
Here are some if you are a boy or a concerned associate of the young boy, looking for a 'suitable' girl:
1. What is your family's socio-economic history? Do you have some loaded uncles or aunts? What chunk of your parents hard-earned money and savings are you going to blow up so my acquaintances and I can have a party of our lifetimes, and essentially I never have to work again?
2. Why just that much money, yaar? Your parents didn't plan for this glorious day since the time you were born?
3. Can you cook four meals everyday?
4. In between cooking meals can you do the dishes, wash clothes, keep our house (which your parents will be gifting us) neat and tidy?
5. How many sons will you bear and rear?
6. What do the stars say about your future? Do they align with mine? No, my astrologer has to say they align with mine, because yours has probably been paid off!
7. Do you have male friends? Why? Do you have any friends? Why?
8. You can read and write! Well, you won't need any of that for sure.
This is just the preliminary round. If the girl and her poor parents make it through, the questions get tougher.
For the young girls, if you have not figured it out by now - you don't get to ask questions! All you get is a marriage made in heaven!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Take Care of Your Beard, My Son
The good old Supreme Court in India is at it again. The Right Hon. (is that used in India?) Markandeya Katju ruled that 'growing a beard was akin to promoting Talibanisation in the country.' The case before him was that of a student Mohammad Salim petitioning to keep his beard while his school, Nirmala Convent Higher Secondary School in Madhya Pradesh, essentially said, "Shave or Death!" (or maybe "... Bugger Off!"). Of course along with these statements, the court also said that if you're at the school, follow the rules or leave, which is really what this matter is about to begin with.
The defence argued that 'sporting a beard was an indispensable part of Islam'. Justice Katju had this classic comeback, "But you [Justice Khan] don't sport a beard". I wonder if he was complimenting his practice of Islam or insulting his ability to grow the fuzz on the cheeks. No doubt he was twirling his own moustache (if he has one), drinking some wine and unveiling his Gallic villain laugh, "Haunh, haunh, haunh". Pulling the age old French positive liberty arguement of no-one displaying any religious liberty whatsoever in public schools, Katju argued for 'balanced secularism'. All-India Muslim Majlis-e-Mushawarat President Zafarul Islam Khan called Justice Katju’s remarks "unfortunate".
I'm surprised he didn't say, "Who are you? Telling an entire religious community whether they can shave or not. You daft git."
Justice Katju may also have missed meeting a Sikh to date. The most obvious example of a community that displays its religion openly, I'm certain no Indian school has asked them to shave lest it lead to the Khalisatnisation of India. If Katju truly wants to achieve 'balanced secularism', let him make sure everyone is on an even platform. No beards for Muslims or Sikhs. No prayers for Hindus or Muslims. Of course, he may claim he's not trying to target Islam but just taking issue with an aspect that he associates with fundamentalist terrorist groups from Afghanistan and Pakistan. So is he then tasked with interpreting the religion and what makes a good Muslim? Is that why he told the counsel that he didn't sport a beard and did fine as a Muslim? Is that the argument for allowing Sikhs to sport beards, because it makes them better practitioners of the religion? If he feels Muslims growing beards to follow their Prophet's tradition is foolhardy then he should take another look at Sikhs growing beards to differentiate themselves as saint soldiers for Aurangzeb to target directly.
It is a difficult decision to make, to say the least. It obviously goes beyond following school rules as Sikhs have always been allowed to flout it. How does he then favour one minority over another on such a ridiculous basis? It is not possible in India to stifle religious traditions and beliefs. Attempting to do so can only lead to trouble. Justice Katju may continue to sip his French wine and guffaw his Gallic "haunh, haunh, haunh" but his ruling may alienate a major community and accelerate any Talibanisation that worries him so.
The defence argued that 'sporting a beard was an indispensable part of Islam'. Justice Katju had this classic comeback, "But you [Justice Khan] don't sport a beard". I wonder if he was complimenting his practice of Islam or insulting his ability to grow the fuzz on the cheeks. No doubt he was twirling his own moustache (if he has one), drinking some wine and unveiling his Gallic villain laugh, "Haunh, haunh, haunh". Pulling the age old French positive liberty arguement of no-one displaying any religious liberty whatsoever in public schools, Katju argued for 'balanced secularism'. All-India Muslim Majlis-e-Mushawarat President Zafarul Islam Khan called Justice Katju’s remarks "unfortunate".
I'm surprised he didn't say, "Who are you? Telling an entire religious community whether they can shave or not. You daft git."
Justice Katju may also have missed meeting a Sikh to date. The most obvious example of a community that displays its religion openly, I'm certain no Indian school has asked them to shave lest it lead to the Khalisatnisation of India. If Katju truly wants to achieve 'balanced secularism', let him make sure everyone is on an even platform. No beards for Muslims or Sikhs. No prayers for Hindus or Muslims. Of course, he may claim he's not trying to target Islam but just taking issue with an aspect that he associates with fundamentalist terrorist groups from Afghanistan and Pakistan. So is he then tasked with interpreting the religion and what makes a good Muslim? Is that why he told the counsel that he didn't sport a beard and did fine as a Muslim? Is that the argument for allowing Sikhs to sport beards, because it makes them better practitioners of the religion? If he feels Muslims growing beards to follow their Prophet's tradition is foolhardy then he should take another look at Sikhs growing beards to differentiate themselves as saint soldiers for Aurangzeb to target directly.
It is a difficult decision to make, to say the least. It obviously goes beyond following school rules as Sikhs have always been allowed to flout it. How does he then favour one minority over another on such a ridiculous basis? It is not possible in India to stifle religious traditions and beliefs. Attempting to do so can only lead to trouble. Justice Katju may continue to sip his French wine and guffaw his Gallic "haunh, haunh, haunh" but his ruling may alienate a major community and accelerate any Talibanisation that worries him so.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Munnabhai apologizes to India
Sanjay Dutt was barred from contesting elections by the Supreme Court yesterday. On hearing the news, Dutt let out a broad smile that endeared him to all in his Munnabhai films, and gracefully accepted the news. He called a press conference and said, "Forgive me for having made such a public embarrassment of myself. I committed a crime that haunts me everyday and one which I will never be able to live down. It is unacceptable to ask for the public to forget about it, even if we didn't live in times when terrorism was such a ready and present danger. I thank my stars that I not in jail and that is enough for me."
When quizzed about his wife Manyata standing in his place the big man responded, "Politics are about the right person to represent the populace. If I cannot stand, it should not mean that she is a replacement. She has no experience whatsoever and would be unknown if she weren't married to me. For that matter, I have no experience. I am only an actor as my good pal Govinda says. My hairstyle changes every week as does my beard these days. Let's be honest, I can't even act properly - I'm only here because my father made it as an actor. I've never really spent much time in Lucknow as I've lived mostly in Bombay. I'm going home and I'm making another Munnabhai film which should smoothen everything out again. Thank you once again."
Amar Singh sat by his side through the entire press conference refusing to speak. He felt Sanjay could handle himself well enough and said the right things. On hearing the Supreme Court order, Pappu Yadav the notorious Bihari gangster instructed his lawyer to withdraw an appeal for a stay so that he could stand for elections. Having allegedly murdered Ajit Sarkar while a sitting MP, he refused to use the loophole that allowed stays on convictions for sitting MPs and MLAs. Pappu's sense of remorse was a profound moment in Bihari politics. He went as far as discarding his nom de guerre 'Pappu' and is on the lookout for a fresh nickname to start over. 'Bunty' is leading the reckoning.
Pappu's magnanimity was needless as it turned out. In the ruling over Sanjay Dutt, the Supreme Court also made an obiter dictum, ruling that stays would not be granted on convictions for sitting MPs and MLAs. They are to be classified as the rest of the population in being held responsible for their crimes and will not be allowed to stand for elections. After all, being a politician cannot be the only occupation a man can take up. It has been applauded far and wide as a ruling filled with wisdom beyond its years.
APRIL FOOLS!!!
It is all bullshit. Yeh India hai meri jaan.
When quizzed about his wife Manyata standing in his place the big man responded, "Politics are about the right person to represent the populace. If I cannot stand, it should not mean that she is a replacement. She has no experience whatsoever and would be unknown if she weren't married to me. For that matter, I have no experience. I am only an actor as my good pal Govinda says. My hairstyle changes every week as does my beard these days. Let's be honest, I can't even act properly - I'm only here because my father made it as an actor. I've never really spent much time in Lucknow as I've lived mostly in Bombay. I'm going home and I'm making another Munnabhai film which should smoothen everything out again. Thank you once again."
Amar Singh sat by his side through the entire press conference refusing to speak. He felt Sanjay could handle himself well enough and said the right things. On hearing the Supreme Court order, Pappu Yadav the notorious Bihari gangster instructed his lawyer to withdraw an appeal for a stay so that he could stand for elections. Having allegedly murdered Ajit Sarkar while a sitting MP, he refused to use the loophole that allowed stays on convictions for sitting MPs and MLAs. Pappu's sense of remorse was a profound moment in Bihari politics. He went as far as discarding his nom de guerre 'Pappu' and is on the lookout for a fresh nickname to start over. 'Bunty' is leading the reckoning.
Pappu's magnanimity was needless as it turned out. In the ruling over Sanjay Dutt, the Supreme Court also made an obiter dictum, ruling that stays would not be granted on convictions for sitting MPs and MLAs. They are to be classified as the rest of the population in being held responsible for their crimes and will not be allowed to stand for elections. After all, being a politician cannot be the only occupation a man can take up. It has been applauded far and wide as a ruling filled with wisdom beyond its years.
APRIL FOOLS!!!
It is all bullshit. Yeh India hai meri jaan.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Fink-Nottle Tries to Register to Vote
Last week, I decided to get my act together and register to vote. A little procrastination later, I had filled in my form on Jaagore.com, figured out the material I needed to carry for identification purposes and was feeling well and truly satisfied with myself. The next day at work I printed out my forms, got my passport photographs taken and carefully assembled all the papers. Following some more dilly dallying I finally made the trip down to the local Municipal Corporation Wednesday morning on my way to work. I asked my cabbie to make the requisite stop and he turned and asked me if a water pipeline in my flat had gone bust. I said nothing of the sort, I just want to register to vote which led him to snigger more than he should have. He also told me I must be living in some dreamland if I expected the place to open before 10:30 AM. Sure enough, upon reaching I was told it won't open till 10:30 AM and I could wait around. Instead, I went back to the sniggering cabbie and asked him to take me to work.
Thursday, I had some time off in the afternoon. At 1:45 PM, I left for the Corporation and was there within 15 minutes. It is a decrepit old compound with some construction work on one of the newer buildings that houses staff. The building that held the registry office was of course the oldest, seemingly built in the revolutionary heyday of the late 1940s. I walked in to the compound like a lost duckling unsure of which way to waddle to next. A short man with a big mustache (as is so often the case) called me to sign into a register. I said I wanted to register to vote so he waved me up a flight of rickety wooden stairs. This staircase could have played a lead role in a movie about a haunted house with its extreme creaky sounds including some new ones I had never heard before. Once on top it was a large landing which served as a corridor, hall and balcony all in one. There were two windows with a long snaking queue from the window furthest away. I got into this queue behind a short young man who must not have been much older than I. Two kids of 18 or 19 stood in line behind me, one with a pimpled face and the other with a chipped tooth. I went up to the first window where two very bored looking men were sitting drinking tea, surrounded by so many sheafs of paper that one could visualize the forests they once were. I asked them if my papers were in order. One of them snatched them, flipped through the forms and then handed me a new empty form. I told him I had already filled it out but he said I had printed it out so the registration officers would think I hadn't written a thing. They needed to see ink on the form to be assured it had been filled out.
Reluctantly I took the same form and filled it out again. The neatness and ease of reading a printed form was obviously all in my head as the bureaucrats would prefer the scrawl of a million different hands. The two kids in line behind me were flipping through photocopies of their forms. I asked them if that was necessary. Pimply said if I didn't have a photocopy they'd send me back. Why? They stamp the photocopy to attest as a receipt. It also serves as a replacement form if they end up losing my original form. Of course, there was no mention of my having to follow up on the lost form and providing this attested copy. I decided to follow their advice, asked them to hold my spot in line and ran across the street to make copies.
I returned after a few minutes, copies in hand and was glad to note the line had moved forward quite a bit. I also found three new people immediately in front of me. Apparently, they had gone for lunch asking someone else to hold their place in line. I glanced once again at the kids behind me and this time they were looking at their identification proofs which also bore stamps and signatures. I asked again if that was necessary. Apparently if I didn't get them attested they weren't valid. Desperately asking for how I could get them attested, I drew blank stares from everyone around me. The kids said they're doctor stamped their papers. An old man a good deal ahead of me quietly told me to go to the building next door to room 24 and they would stamp it. I thanked him profusely and made a run for it. Finally finding the room, they gave me looks of disgust. Not only was I asking them for a tremendous favour I had not brought the original proofs of identity. The gentleman gave me a stern talking to for being such a fool but then quietly signed the papers and sent me to the stamping authority next door. The crisis was averted.
Relieved, I made my way back to discover the line hadn't moved forward at all. A man of about 60 was gesturing wildly telling everyone to stand in their lines and shouting at a young woman who had dared to cut ahead. Self-appointed authority figures can be found anywhere, I guess. He then focused his wrath on a couple that were taking a break from the heat of the queue to lean against the banister, disrupting the snaking queue. Turning into an orator, he rhetorically asked why does a young couple get to rest while an old man stands diligently in line. The old man in question smiled toothlessly and the rest of us smiled in response. A moment of levity in the heat.
At any given moment there were 5 people at the registration window thrusting their forms forward. Most people carried not just their forms but those of their family members too. The kids behind me had exhausted most topics of conversation and were now discussing Harry Potter. I was not just frustrated but needed to get back to work. The Muslim woman in front of me with her burqa covering all but her glasses told me it was taking so long because they had no computers in there. I refused to believe her but the man in front of her told me he was here to pick up his election card and it was his third visit. Each time he waited for hours got to the front and they physically searched for a card to match the 10 digits or so on his receipt. Each time he was turned away and told to return in a few days.
It struck me only then that pretty much everyone around me was Muslim and from the labour/lower middle class. It sounds like a classist judgement it goes a long way to explain their patience and my frustration. They smiled when telling me there weren't any computers and how they might dramatically reduce time. They understood better than me that some automation could also lead to greater order in all the chaos. The man trying to collect his election card pointed my attention through a side window. A well dressed man in his 40s was seating himself across 2 officials and accepting a cup of tea. He had apparently just paid a bribe and won himself an express ticket to registration. The man waiting with me just smiled and told me to try my luck if I had the money. After all why was I the odd one out in the queue? Flabbergasted, I considered the proposition. It took more resolve than I expected. And then just to make things better, out of the blue walked in 8 all in burqas of varying ages led by a religious Muslim man with a long beard. They got in line a few spaces ahead of me along with a family member who had been waiting. It was after 4 PM and clearly my turn wasn't going to come that day. The kids behind me joked that they could watch a movie and return and still be in the same place in line. I gave up and walked away desperate to get back to work and not to mention some air conditioning. The self-appointed authority figure just about to get his own turn called out to me telling me not to give up so easily. I told him I just needed a drink of water.
There were still four more days for me to try my luck. Friday was not possible due to work and I was traveling on the weekend. Monday morning I tried again reaching at 9 AM but the queue had begun 2 hours earlier. I did not have the time to stand in line for 3-4 hours and had to return. I am chastened by my experience but really it is my fault for trying only at the last minute. I am now an educated man without a vote, the kind I love to rail against - a hypocrite. In 5 years, I hope to value my right as much as those who lack so much in resources but make up for in belief.
UPDATE - Now that I look back, I realize a community of sorts was formed that day. We were all in it together, braving the heat, taking time off from work, all trying to exercise our franchise. It was spontaneously formed, and it goes a long way to explain why people held spots for others for hours, gave advice to prevent repeat trips whether it was something as simple as photocopying or attesting identity. It also explains why the self-appointed orator asked me to have patience. I was abandoning the community when I walked out and perhaps he saw that.
Thursday, I had some time off in the afternoon. At 1:45 PM, I left for the Corporation and was there within 15 minutes. It is a decrepit old compound with some construction work on one of the newer buildings that houses staff. The building that held the registry office was of course the oldest, seemingly built in the revolutionary heyday of the late 1940s. I walked in to the compound like a lost duckling unsure of which way to waddle to next. A short man with a big mustache (as is so often the case) called me to sign into a register. I said I wanted to register to vote so he waved me up a flight of rickety wooden stairs. This staircase could have played a lead role in a movie about a haunted house with its extreme creaky sounds including some new ones I had never heard before. Once on top it was a large landing which served as a corridor, hall and balcony all in one. There were two windows with a long snaking queue from the window furthest away. I got into this queue behind a short young man who must not have been much older than I. Two kids of 18 or 19 stood in line behind me, one with a pimpled face and the other with a chipped tooth. I went up to the first window where two very bored looking men were sitting drinking tea, surrounded by so many sheafs of paper that one could visualize the forests they once were. I asked them if my papers were in order. One of them snatched them, flipped through the forms and then handed me a new empty form. I told him I had already filled it out but he said I had printed it out so the registration officers would think I hadn't written a thing. They needed to see ink on the form to be assured it had been filled out.
Reluctantly I took the same form and filled it out again. The neatness and ease of reading a printed form was obviously all in my head as the bureaucrats would prefer the scrawl of a million different hands. The two kids in line behind me were flipping through photocopies of their forms. I asked them if that was necessary. Pimply said if I didn't have a photocopy they'd send me back. Why? They stamp the photocopy to attest as a receipt. It also serves as a replacement form if they end up losing my original form. Of course, there was no mention of my having to follow up on the lost form and providing this attested copy. I decided to follow their advice, asked them to hold my spot in line and ran across the street to make copies.
I returned after a few minutes, copies in hand and was glad to note the line had moved forward quite a bit. I also found three new people immediately in front of me. Apparently, they had gone for lunch asking someone else to hold their place in line. I glanced once again at the kids behind me and this time they were looking at their identification proofs which also bore stamps and signatures. I asked again if that was necessary. Apparently if I didn't get them attested they weren't valid. Desperately asking for how I could get them attested, I drew blank stares from everyone around me. The kids said they're doctor stamped their papers. An old man a good deal ahead of me quietly told me to go to the building next door to room 24 and they would stamp it. I thanked him profusely and made a run for it. Finally finding the room, they gave me looks of disgust. Not only was I asking them for a tremendous favour I had not brought the original proofs of identity. The gentleman gave me a stern talking to for being such a fool but then quietly signed the papers and sent me to the stamping authority next door. The crisis was averted.
Relieved, I made my way back to discover the line hadn't moved forward at all. A man of about 60 was gesturing wildly telling everyone to stand in their lines and shouting at a young woman who had dared to cut ahead. Self-appointed authority figures can be found anywhere, I guess. He then focused his wrath on a couple that were taking a break from the heat of the queue to lean against the banister, disrupting the snaking queue. Turning into an orator, he rhetorically asked why does a young couple get to rest while an old man stands diligently in line. The old man in question smiled toothlessly and the rest of us smiled in response. A moment of levity in the heat.
At any given moment there were 5 people at the registration window thrusting their forms forward. Most people carried not just their forms but those of their family members too. The kids behind me had exhausted most topics of conversation and were now discussing Harry Potter. I was not just frustrated but needed to get back to work. The Muslim woman in front of me with her burqa covering all but her glasses told me it was taking so long because they had no computers in there. I refused to believe her but the man in front of her told me he was here to pick up his election card and it was his third visit. Each time he waited for hours got to the front and they physically searched for a card to match the 10 digits or so on his receipt. Each time he was turned away and told to return in a few days.
It struck me only then that pretty much everyone around me was Muslim and from the labour/lower middle class. It sounds like a classist judgement it goes a long way to explain their patience and my frustration. They smiled when telling me there weren't any computers and how they might dramatically reduce time. They understood better than me that some automation could also lead to greater order in all the chaos. The man trying to collect his election card pointed my attention through a side window. A well dressed man in his 40s was seating himself across 2 officials and accepting a cup of tea. He had apparently just paid a bribe and won himself an express ticket to registration. The man waiting with me just smiled and told me to try my luck if I had the money. After all why was I the odd one out in the queue? Flabbergasted, I considered the proposition. It took more resolve than I expected. And then just to make things better, out of the blue walked in 8 all in burqas of varying ages led by a religious Muslim man with a long beard. They got in line a few spaces ahead of me along with a family member who had been waiting. It was after 4 PM and clearly my turn wasn't going to come that day. The kids behind me joked that they could watch a movie and return and still be in the same place in line. I gave up and walked away desperate to get back to work and not to mention some air conditioning. The self-appointed authority figure just about to get his own turn called out to me telling me not to give up so easily. I told him I just needed a drink of water.
There were still four more days for me to try my luck. Friday was not possible due to work and I was traveling on the weekend. Monday morning I tried again reaching at 9 AM but the queue had begun 2 hours earlier. I did not have the time to stand in line for 3-4 hours and had to return. I am chastened by my experience but really it is my fault for trying only at the last minute. I am now an educated man without a vote, the kind I love to rail against - a hypocrite. In 5 years, I hope to value my right as much as those who lack so much in resources but make up for in belief.
UPDATE - Now that I look back, I realize a community of sorts was formed that day. We were all in it together, braving the heat, taking time off from work, all trying to exercise our franchise. It was spontaneously formed, and it goes a long way to explain why people held spots for others for hours, gave advice to prevent repeat trips whether it was something as simple as photocopying or attesting identity. It also explains why the self-appointed orator asked me to have patience. I was abandoning the community when I walked out and perhaps he saw that.
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