CONGRESS WINS INDIAN ELECTIONS 2009!! - For Real this Time

All the phases of voting, the nail-biting tension (for some I'm sure) and truckloads of suspense have resulted in the Congress winning and winning decisively. Congress has won more seats than any single party since they did the same feat back in 1991. It speaks to the fragmentation of India and the shift towards multi-party coalition politics with weakened governments in the last 18 years.

Has the Indian voter realized this process wasn't working too well? I don't think so, I think they felt the UPA were the lesser of all evils and have voted accordingly.

I was a fan of such politics for quite a while, thinking it to be true democracy where everyone has a voice in some form or the other. Pragmatically speaking though it means decisions are slowed and are constantly under attack with blackmailing threats from minority allies that they will back out. The mandate that Congress has gained over the last month means that they will be able to push more policies through. Best of all there is going to be no need to pay heed to the Left. The CPI (M) has been blown to smithereens in West Bengal by Mamta Banerjee and the Trinamool Congress, considered by many to be a mad woman (an euphemism). The Left had reared its head highest during the ratification of the 1-2-3 Act aka the Indo-US Nuclear Pact. India was not going to bow down to an imperialist capitalist nation according to them. Well sucks for you now, Left.

Extremely gratifying is the erosion of power of Mayawati and the BSP in Uttar Pradesh. Congress gained a heck of a lot under the organization, leadership and campaigning of a certain Rahul Gandhi. The man has been vindicated I feel. He has done brilliantly to bring Congress to such a position of power in a state where they have had virtually no presence in recent times. Moreover, the opposition he was up against in Mayawati is not to be smirked at. Going from strength to strength in recent times she was more than just a dark horse for the seat of Prime Minister. That itself was based on her ability to gain upwards of 50 seats and then lining up anti-UPA allies.

We now know that was optimistic but it didn't seem so for the longest time. Her appeal to the Dalit community had grown to encompass anyone poor including Muslims, long a vote bank for the 'secular' Congress. Running Muslim celebrity candidates such as Mohammad Azharuddin and fabulous campaigning by Rahul's best mate, Omar Abdullah, are some simple reasons to point to that the Muslim vote was regained. They were also no doubt aided by the antics of Varun Gandhi and my Mayawati's unbridled lust for central power, distracting her from her home state.

Rahul should be commended for his role in the overall victory and UP's contribution to it. He has said that he does not want to be a cabinet minister and that has its plusses and minuses. He probably should continue in his organizational role as it has done wonders as all can see. Abandoning it now may lead it to unravel overnight. As a cabinet minister though, he will gain the experience for the role he has been earmarked since birth - Prime Minister. He will also have an opportunity to prove he can handle the responsibility and can create a track record to be judged on. Manmohan Singh has asked him to join the cabinet and I feel certain he will this time round.

The question is what portfolio will he get? Surely, it will be something more minor to start with and a subsequent reshuffle landing him a more prominent role as Home Minister or something similar. Very, very interesting.

On the subject of Prime Minister himself, Manmohan is due to be the first back-to-back term PM in India since Nehru. Incredible, if true. To be fair, I'm sure Congress and its allies would prefer either Sonia or Rahul to be PM because it is a dynastic party. Manmohan is a regent who may be redundant. As long as his biggest fans remain Sonia and Rahul, Manmohan will be PM.

The BJP are deserved losers. Much of their campaign was negatively aimed at Manmohan. He is a weak leader, they said. A puppet with no voice of his own. But what was their strong leadership going to provide? Greater communalism than already exists? Alienating what is still nominally the world's strongest power? More hostility towards Pakistan? I don't see their economic policies appealing to anyone but urban businessmen. Not that Congress is much better saying we achieved 6% during a global recession so we rock. Going down to 6% (4.5% according to the IMF) from 9%+ is akin to recession, they must know that.

I still feel though that even though Congress is a hodge podge of everything, it is better than being the uber-nationalistic BJP. The BJP has a major need to re-invent itself much like the Republican Party in the US. Modi is the immediate future and has become a beacon of development. Personally, the spectre of Godhra still hangs over him. They are also counting the costs of defending Varun Gandhi's anti-Muslim statements. Though he won his seat, how many others were lost in the process? A Gandhi-Gandhi future? I don't think so.

The final reckoning should show a strong government without the need to dilly-dally or hold massive referendums on policy making. Stability is key for development and growth and most importantly for inspiring confidence in every walk of life. The people have spoken.

CONGRESS WINS INDIAN ELECTIONS 2009!! - Maybe

The title is a little misleading. OK, very misleading as results are not out at the time of writing and pretty much everyone is claiming victory. BJP have one-upped Congress this time by claiming that they will win more seats this year with their allies than Congress won last time round. That is 219 vs. 218. Congress apparently is forecasting a slightly lower figure for themselves but as these were based off some news channel I glanced at, I wouldn't take them too seriously.

Of course such figures are based on the belief of these parties that they allies they covet will get in bed with them. It is an incestual orgy of the worst kind - filled with octogenarian men. Yuck, to borrow a phrase many girls use these days. Here is an example of a few hours of horse-trading or whore-bidding.

Ol' Chief Minister of Bihar jumped in head first by announcing that he will join whichever party that commits to granting Bihar 'special status' if their alliance comes to power. Karat's Wikipedia entry perhaps describes him best.

'Nitish's nickname is Munna. He is a teetotaller.'

It is essentially saying look you need a screw and this is my price and I swear I'll do you all night long if you pay me. Except ol' Munna is the leader of JD(U) which is supposedly part of the NDA, the BJP's alliance. So the analogy really changes from a plain old whore naming her rate, to a mistress who wants more diamonds and moving into the richer man's harem for them.

The old horny men aren't just the BJP and Congress but also the Left aka Communist Party of India. What is truly beautiful about the Left is that they have this carrot being offered to ol' Munna saying, 'Look man I love you, OK. If you back us we'll possibly think about maybe naming you as one of the candidates within our sizeable group who could be Prime Minister if we win. Are we cool?" The Left is kissing a little bit more ass saying Bihar deserves 'special status' without actually saying what that is. It could just be a tag before the name, i.e. 'Special - Bihar'. Or the promise of Bihar getting a different font from the other states on any Indian map or atlas published here onwards. I'm personally leaning towards the latter.

Tragically, it turns out Munna wanted more money for Bihar. All the better for your gaiye-bhainse you know. Congress has said, "Look I'm horny and I'll take any chick right now, no matter how ugly and how much she charges. Unless she's racist like BJP or Shiv Sena because that is so wrong." This of course is just a few days after the PM Manny Singh called Munna racist himself. Just to be on the safe side given all they're saying, they appended their statement quoted 4 lines above:

'He added that Congress had not blocked development in any state. "Congress has not differentiated with any state on the issue of development," he said.'

Also:

'"He (Nitish Kumar) needs to define and specify what he means by special status for Bihar. The UPA (the Congress-led United Progressive Alliance) has always taken into consideration demands when it has released funds for backward states," said Congress general secretary Digvijay Singh.'

Clutch answer. Of course we want you to develop just like we want everyone else to develop. Could be re-written as, "You're all equally special to me. How can you ask me to choose between you?"

BJP is a little taken aback obviously because they thought they had some seats locked in. Of course, they've promised 'special status' and claim they are the only ones who will provide it. Its really sucking for them if Congress is also doing this whole 'promising' thing that's so hep these days. Munna though could be in the fantastic position of having everyone promise to give 'special status' and therefore commit to getting into bed with whoever wins. That really negates his purpose so I'm guessing some new demand is close. Pretty much everyone else should also demand 'special status' to extract some true value. What's the point of standing for elections if you can't sell yourself if you win a seat?



The advantage Munna has of course is that he is promoting a book, released by Lord Meghnad Desai. The title of the book should you care, Special Category Status: A Case for Bihar. Sounds familiar right? Others could do it too if they just plagiarize like Munna allegedly did from a rather pissed off researcher at Jawaharlal Nehru University. Didn't sign the honour code, I guess.

There's going to be a lot more fun once the parties actually know who's won what and who's accordingly the best screw. I hope Congress wins simply because they seem to have a little bit more wisdom about them in basic matters of handling the country. For those who love the BJP because of the development they will bring, I can only say one thing:

They said the same about the Nazis.

P.S. - Munna a teetotaller? Really? In Bihar? How?