We have a unique system of getting young people (who might other wise indulge in shameless activities such as dating, being in relationships, making out, hooking up, having sex, what have you may) hitched in India. Young here means since the time they hit puberty or some godforsaken age like that. It is a system that has been tried and tested over centuries and even in 2009, at the height of human civilization, it is considered the sacred method of finding your partner for life, as they like to put it.
Such a foolproof method that binds two people, not remotely in love with one another, into a life long relationship that is meant to be born out of love works in a very sophisticated, yet simple manner. It can be replicated anywhere and works like a charm to cure people of their frustrated, lonely lives. All you need is a list of questions.
Here are some if you are a boy or a concerned associate of the young boy, looking for a 'suitable' girl:
1. What is your family's socio-economic history? Do you have some loaded uncles or aunts? What chunk of your parents hard-earned money and savings are you going to blow up so my acquaintances and I can have a party of our lifetimes, and essentially I never have to work again?
2. Why just that much money, yaar? Your parents didn't plan for this glorious day since the time you were born?
3. Can you cook four meals everyday?
4. In between cooking meals can you do the dishes, wash clothes, keep our house (which your parents will be gifting us) neat and tidy?
5. How many sons will you bear and rear?
6. What do the stars say about your future? Do they align with mine? No, my astrologer has to say they align with mine, because yours has probably been paid off!
7. Do you have male friends? Why? Do you have any friends? Why?
8. You can read and write! Well, you won't need any of that for sure.
This is just the preliminary round. If the girl and her poor parents make it through, the questions get tougher.
For the young girls, if you have not figured it out by now - you don't get to ask questions! All you get is a marriage made in heaven!
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A very true picture of the marriage system in Rural India. Education teaches us to make choices in life and if a girl/boy thinks that what they are doing or getting into is correct then they should do so. These decissions are entirely based upon our values and upbringing. A person should be able to stand up for what they want or else they will never be able to do it ever. It is entirely dependeant on the decission of the girl/boy. Our society and civilization has evolved to this stage and I don't think this is the true picture in the urban life.
ReplyDeleteI wish this were a picture of what happens only in rural India. There is ample evidence that educated, urban citizens of India indulge in such practices even today, but perhaps in a more nuanced manner than their counterparts in villages.
ReplyDeleteEducation can help broaden our horizon, yet it is not enough to change such disgraceful practices. And, this is not the custom in just India.
The decission is entirely dependent on the two people in question. I am sure no parent ever forces their child into anything in the urban world of our country. Your post and comment shows that you have been through some issues and have a fixed picture about things in your mind. I am sure educated people understand the value of love and compatibility in peoples life.
ReplyDeleteEducation just broadens our thinking power. If it is a disgraceful practice then someone should do smething about it.
I think that is extremely naive of you. You may not have been exposed to such situations yet and if not, enjoy it. The arranged marriage scenario and the vile questions that often accompany it exist both in the very high and much of the low strata of society.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the question is whether it is a 'disgraceful' practice. We know the answer to that already.
And as for someone doing something about it, how do you propose that someone does something? Should the kids stand up to their parents? And sever or damage that most vital of bonds? I think for your freedom you still should but not everyone is willing to make that sacrifice.
It is not a disgraceful practice. It is just about finding the right person. The circumstances in India do not really allow everyone to exercise this option. There are some who manage to do it own their own and for some their parents do it. sometimes you get married and things do not work out. For that you cannot blame anyone i.e. neither yourself nor your parents.
ReplyDeleteParents always want their kids happy and no parent will ever sacrifice the bond with their child. This has been seen in several cases all over the world. It is about having confidence in yourself, your partner and your relationship.